Condorman
Michael Crawford is best-known today for originating the title role in Andrew Lloyd Webber’s 1986 stage musical “The Phantom of the Opera.” He won both the Laurence Olivier Award and the Tony Award for his performance. It is easy to forget that before this breakthrough Crawford was known mainly for playing the inept “Frank Spencer” on the 1973 BBC sitcom “Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em.” Crawford was still performing in his Frank Spencer style when the Walt Disney company offered him the title role in a new feature film.
The motion picture was intended as a parody of superhero films such as “Superman: The Movie,” (1978), and “Batman,” (1966). It was based very loosely on the 1965 novel “The Game of X” by American science fiction writer Robert Sheckley, (1928-2005), which was not about superheroes at all. It was a parody of “James Bond” spy stories. So this movie had something of a split personality from the very beginning.
This week’s movie was “Condorman” from Walt Disney Productions in 1981, directed by Charles Jarrott from a screenplay by Marc Stirdivant. The picture opens with an animated version of the title character bouncing around live-action footage of Paris. Then Michael Crawford fakes an American accent to portray “Woodrow ‘Woody’ Wilkins,” a comic book writer and artist. He is living temporarily in Paris with his friend “Harry Oslo,” (James Hampton), who works in the local CIA office. Harry’s boss is “Russ Devlin,” (Dana Elcar). The CIA is planning to pass some documents to a KGB agent in Istanbul, and the Russians have requested that the Agency use a civilian to make the transfer. Harry asks Woody to carry out the task, and he enthusiastically agrees. He uses the name of his new character “Condorman” as his code name. In Istanbul he meets KGB agent “Natalia Rambova,” (Barbara Carrera), and through sheer luck and clumsiness he rescues her from a trio of assassins. When Natalia decides to defect to the West she insists that “Condorman” escort her to safety. Woody agrees to carry out the mission on the condition that the CIA provide him with real-life versions of Condorman’s equipment, including a winged flying suit, a Condormobile, and a Condorboat. But the vicious KGB agent “Krokov,” (Oliver Reed), is in pursuit, as is his sadistic henchman “Morovich,” (Jean-Pierre Kalfon). Can Condorman get Natalia across Europe to the safety of the West?
The Disney company was so convinced that they had a hit on their hands that preparations for a sequel had begun before the movie was even released. Those plans were quickly cancelled when this movie received almost universally bad reviews and bombed at the box office. It is now widely regarded as one of the worst movies ever produced by the studio.
It is not completely without merit. It has an effective car chase and an enjoyable battle of speed boats in the sea off Monte Carlo. The special effects by Colin Chilvers were widely criticized for the sometimes visible wire work, but I found them fairly convincing.
This movie’s problem is easy to define. It isn’t very funny. It only really tries to be funny in the first act, and comes off as silly. Michael Crawford’s performance is far too broad, and his American accent is awful. In the second act the film turns into a spy movie. It is lighthearted, but it is played pretty straight. Oliver Reed never tries to be amusing at all. He plays his villain role as a straightforward sadist. Crawford does become less annoying as the story progresses. The third act has a decent bit of tension and action leading to a pretty satisfying conclusion. However for a movie called “Condorman” it really isn’t about that character, even if Crawford sometimes wears the costume. This movie just does not work. It is a big disappointment.
Other movies based on the writings of Robert Sheckley include “La decima vittima,” (“The Tenth Victim,” 1965), “Le Prix du Danger,” (“The Prize of Peril,” 1983), “Freejack,” (1992), and “Robots,” (2023).