Hardware Wars

San Francisco-based filmmaker Ernie Fosselius had already contributed about 20 animated shorts to the television show “Sesame Street” when he created his first movie parody. This was a brief film called “The Hindenburger” which aired in 1976 on a comedy television program called “Mother’s Little Network” that was broadcast on station WGBH in Boston. In 1977 Fosselius saw the movie “Star Wars,” and he quickly got to work on his own comedy version. Working with a budget of about $8000 the director staged his picture as an extended “Coming Attractions” trailer using amateur talent in the cast, (although he managed to obtain the legendary voice-actor Paul Frees to serve as the narrator). The result was the first of a great many “Star Wars” parodies. Some people still consider it to be the best.

This week’s movie was “Hardware Wars” from 20th Century Foss in 1978, written and directed by Ernie Fosselius and distributed by Pyramid Films. Our story opens with robots “4-Q-2,” (Frank Robertson wearing a “Tin Woodman” costume), and “Artie Deco,” (played by a General Electric V11C13 model canister vacuum cleaner), arriving on a desert planet. “Fluke Starbucker,” (Scott Mathews), is working on Artie Deco when he displays a holographic distress message from “Princess Anne-Droid,” (Cindy Furgatch). Fluke seeks out the help of Red-Eye Knight “Augie ‘Ben’ Doggie,” (Jeff Hale). They visit a country-western bar and hire space pilot “Ham Salad,” (Bob Knickerbocker), and his copilot “Chewchilla the Wookiee Monster,” (played by a “Cookie Monster” Muppet dyed brown). Their spaceship is a steam iron, and the “Death Star” equivalent is a waffle maker. They encounter the evil “Darph Nader,” (an uncredited actor wearing a welder’s helmet). The movie ends with the memorable catch phrase, “May the Farce be with you!”

This movie is cheap and amateurish, but that is half the charm. This picture is fast-paced and very, very funny. Although it is a parody of “Star Wars,” it is clearly an affectionate parody. George Lucas absolutely loved this movie, and welcomed other filmmakers to play in his universe without fear of legal jeopardy. This led to many other very creative and hilarious films such as “Troops” and “George Lucas in Love.”

The soundtrack in this picture is mainly “Ride of the Valkyries” by Richard Wagner. The song playing in the bar is a parody of Merle Haggard’s 1969 hit “Okie from Muskogee” with the lyric, “I’m proud to be old Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

The name “Augie ‘Ben’ Doggie” comes from the 1959 Hanna-Barbera television cartoon series “Augie Doggie and Doggie Daddy.”

Scott Mathews went on to a very successful career as a record producer, songwriter, and studio musician. He worked on a great many classic songs and albums.

In 1997 a “Special Edition” of “Hardware Wars” was released with some additional footage added. This was in response to George Lucas releasing Special Editions of the original “Star Wars” trilogy. Ernie Fosselius did not create this version of his classic parody.